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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23210242">Cherry</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/brookii131/pseuds/brookii131'>brookii131</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Eddie Kaspbrak / Richie Tozier - Fandom, IT, IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged up characters, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Angst, Based off of cherry by Harry styles hence the title, College/University, Eddie Kaspbrak is clueless, M/M, Pining, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie is so in love, Sad Richie, Sonia’s A+ Parenting, The writer had never written and recorded a song but that will not stop her, eventually, kind of, the other characters will probs be minor, this is richie centric and I promise eddie will be I’m the second chapter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 09:33:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,970</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23210242</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/brookii131/pseuds/brookii131</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>That’s why his ex-bestfriend is just that, an ex. He’s not even the kind of ex that Richie wants him to be. Which, could be off putting because Richie never wanted Eddie Kaspbrak to be his ex anything.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/OC briefly, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi! While listening to Cherry, I was like, hey yknow what would be fun? If Richie wrote this because he was in pain over seeing eddie with someone else... and so this has come to be. It’s a work in progress but I’m so excited for it!<br/>I’m gonna try to keep it short and sweet though, can’t imagine it being more than 15-20k honestly! </p><p>Anywhoo, I hope you guys enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cherry</p><p>	Richie Tozier tapped his foot anxiously as his music professor wrapped up his evening lecture. His music class was not what was putting him into a fit on this particular day. Though he couldn’t help but feel extra irritated over his professors nasally tone that he was trying all too hard to drown out, wallowing in self pity. </p><p>	He regretted thinking that immediately. Dr. Neely was actually one of his favorite people on campus, and definitely his most caring teacher he’d ever had. He felt pretty bad for sitting in the back of class today and not being active in the slightest, even attempting to try and doze off towards the end. It’s not his professors annoying tone of voice that put him in a funky mood, but rather an altercation that happened right before class. And by altercation, he means seeing his ex-best friend and his current boyfriend.</p><p>	Richie was bad with emotions. Not having them. He was actually pretty good in that department, and maybe even a bit overactive according to one of many therapists Maggie, his mother, used to send him to when he was prepubescent and even on through high school. What he lacked was the ability to actually share those feelings with others. Specifically the romantic, loving kind. Something to do with his dad leaving and this and that. </p><p>Yeah. Even in his own head he wasn’t particularly good at sorting those kinds of things out. </p><p>	That’s why his ex-bestfriend is just that, an ex. He’s not even the kind of ex that Richie wants him to be. Which, could be off putting because Richie never wanted Eddie Kaspbrak to be his ex anything. He’d always imagined that by this time they would be steadily dating or at the very least talking about dating. He always felt a strong connection towards Eddie and he thought that maybe Eddie reciprocated and was too shy to make the first move, or often he would also think that maybe Eddie was straight and just touchy and close and lovey and he was just reading it all wrong. </p><p>After Eddie came out, he put the latter to rest. Richie took Eddies coming out as an opportunity. He found bravery in himself from his best friend and decided that it was time he could come out too. </p><p>	He likes boys. And girls, but his preference was definitely men, and if he was being completely honest and extremely specific, his preference was entirely Eddie Kaspbrak and every thing that short, chaotic cutie had to offer him.</p><p>	It was playground love, literally. Richie fell off the slide in grade school and it’s like Eddie could smell the blood from the other side of the swings. He was by his side in less than a second, pulling travel sized disinfectant, gauze, and bandaids out of his fanny pack and working on Richies scraped up arms and knees like a pro. He smiled up through his lashes at Richie after he was finished, and maybe even made a joke about how he should be more careful but Richie was too focused on the lump in his throat and counting the freckles on Eddies nose to even give him a coherent response.</p><p>	Eddie being Eddie freaked out about his lack of an intelligible response and convinced himself and everyone else that Richie had a concussion and he was going to die. He followed him to the nurse and then home that day to make sure he didn’t die in his sleep. He would jolt Richie awake everytime he almost dozed off and was somehow able to even stay the night despite only knowing each other for maybe 10 hours. They were completely inseparable after that, so Richie thought.</p><p>	Richie smiled fondly at the memory despite the sour feeling he would get now thinking about him. </p><p>“Alright, friends, songs are due next Friday.”        That sure got Richies attention.<br/>
Richie approached his professor and without a thought, the man handed him a sheet of paper.</p><p>“What’s thi-“</p><p>“You were supposed to pick it up on your way in,” Dr. Neely huffed a sympathetic sigh, “I can tell you’ve been in your head the last month or so. Your work has been suffering from it. I think this project can really help if you let it. Write a song, but with a twist. You’ll understand once you read the objective. I have a meeting to get to, but I believe in you and expect a lot from you Richie. I know you have greatness in you, put it to use!”  He patted Richie on the shoulder lightheartedly as he passed by him to get out the door.</p><p>	Richie thought about what his professor said for a while. He spent his entire walk home reading the assignments objective over and over again, and letting his words of encouragement replay after each reading. He had to write a song in a week, and add some obscure audio to it. It could be a sample from another song, which Richie thought was very overdone and ultimately an easy way out. It definitely is not what his professor was expecting from him. Another option was a line from his favorite movie, which seemed a little bit more interesting but also extremely challenging to mesh into music. The last option seemed to be there completely for him. It didn’t give much detail, the last option simply read “or something else, be creative.” He knew that was what Neely wanted from him, but he just didn’t know what to do with that information. </p><p>	He groaned at the paper as he walked into his apartment, throwing it onto the coffee table and plopping down next to his roommate and best friend Stan.</p><p>“You’re in a mood today.” Stan observed, not even averting his eyes from his book to peek at Richie.</p><p>He just knows, Richie thought.</p><p>“I’m always in a mood according to you Stanley.” Richie laughed with no humor.</p><p>“You didn’t used to be.” Stan hummed in response.</p><p>“Well I didn’t used to see Eddie sucking face with some random guy when all I’m trying to do is walk to Music class, so yeah, things have changed.” Richie deadpanned, clicking the remote to turn the television on and browse Netflix. </p><p>      He couldn’t even pretend to have the energy to start his music project tonight. All he wanted to do was sulk, eat his feelings, and then sulk some more. </p><p>Stan went rigid next to him, immediately shutting his book and turning his body around completely to face Richie. Richie responded with his speciality by not even looking at him, and even going so far as to continue browsing potential sad movies to watch, not even flinching when Stan rested his palm on his shoulder.</p><p>“Richie, I’m so sorry,” Stan sighed apologetically, slowly scooting closer so his arm was completely around Richies shoulder and he was leaning into him comfortingly, “He’s not some random guy, though okay? I don’t know if that makes it much better honestly... I guess it’d make it better for me if I were in that situation. It’s not like they’ll be together forever, okay? Everyone has flings. You’ll get him back.”</p><p>“I never even had him, though!” Richie shot up and out of Stans touch, walking into the kitchen to peek in the fridge. </p><p>“He was never really mine so being this upset is just so pathetic.”</p><p>“You’re not pathetic.” Stan half shouted from his spot at the couch, peering observantly at Richie in the kitchen as he opened the fridge, and then every cabinet without luck.</p><p>	He closed all of the cabinets, opting for cheerios because nothing else looked appetizing. He poured himself a bowl, feeling eyes on him the entire time. It kind of made his skin crawl but he also appreciated Stan being there for him, always. It was really nice knowing that someone cared. Stan really valued his reading, so he actually seriously cared to be able to put his book down for Richie. He could clearly tell the situation was especially bad today.</p><p>“I’m calling Beverly.” Stan announced, turning around to face the t.v. again.</p><p>“Yay!” Richie responded sarcastically, finishing his cereal quickly and bounding to his room, making sure to lock the door behind him.</p><p>-</p><p>“Baby, you’re too cute thinking I can’t pick a lock.” Beverly breezed through the doorway of his bedroom, pinning a Bobby pin behind her ear and flashing a grin and quick wink at Richie as she crossed the room to get over to his bed.</p><p>“A locked door means no one is welcome.” Richie groaned, rolling over to face his wall and burying his head into his pillow.</p><p>       He could hide a lot from a lot of people. Beverly was one of two exceptions. She could always see right through him. It’s like he was a completely open book when it comes to her. He loved her so much, but sometimes the vulnerability when she was around was draining and made it hard for him to spend time with her, especially recently.</p><p>“Aw, but I thought I was always welcome,” Richie could practically see the playful pout on Bevs lips, “What’s the matter? Stan says you’re in a mood.”</p><p>Beverly shifted behind him, cuddling up to him to be his big spoon, which he shamelessly melted into because he secretly loved being coddled. She ran a gentle hand through his curls and he leaned his head back into the comforting touch, sniffling a bit as he felt the tears coming.</p><p>“Stan always says I’m in a mood. Where’s Ben?”</p><p>“He does, but he usually doesn’t call me about your constant moods. Ben’s in the living room. Don’t change the subject.” </p><p>       Richie groaned, biting back tears as he let the moment replay. </p><p>	He was walking to class like normal, but today was different because he was running extremely late. He’s usually a little bit late, fashionably if you will, but today was different and it was assignment day so he knew Neely wouldn’t cut him any slack today. So, desperate times called for desperate measures. He took a detour and cut through the courtyard. It was completely fine, and he was almost to the door to his building when he saw it. </p><p>He saw him first. Justin, ugh! Even his name was annoying. Richie decided that he swore by the saying “if his name starts with J, stay away.” He told everyone that had always been his motto, and they all accepted it like it had always been a thing. His hatred became obsessive after awhile, to the point where Richie was so in deep that he could recognize him just from his back. His back that had Eddies hands wrapped around it, and they were engaging in some serious PDA. It was a heated makeout session and they were moving against each other like animals. Richies eyes immediately welled up and he felt his lunch threatening to make a reappearance. He ran passed them as fast as he could, jerking his head to face the complete opposite direction as he passed, but not before he could lock eyes with Eddie for a second. </p><p>“It was fucking awful,” Richie explained through tears, Beverly petting his hair and scratching his back as his body was shaking with small sobs. </p><p>“I know, bub, I know.” She listen as he continued to explain, agreeing as he bashed Justin endlessly.</p><p>“This is the first time I’ve seen him in person since our fight, and of course that’s how it would be. God, this is just pathetic.” Richie rolled over to face Beverly, who wiped tears from his eyes immediately, squishing his cheeks fondly. </p><p>“You know what? This is completely unfair! You would look cute when you cry.” Bev grinned at Richie, who shielded his face quickly, stifling a laugh. </p><p>“I look like shit Bev, and I thought you came here to have a serious conversation with me!” He accused, peaking at her though his fingers.</p><p>“Hey, I think we both needed a little comedic relief after hearing about Eddie swapping spit with rich kid.”</p><p>“Imagine having to see it.” Richie groaned.</p><p>“Can’t. I would vomit. Right here, right now. Chunks would fly, all over your bed.”</p><p>Richie was laughing at that point, and Beverly joined him, and things felt a little less awful.</p><p>“Well, you should consider yourself fucking lucky.”</p><p>“Ahhhh, I do,” She grinned, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug, “Also, what is this music assignment I read that you left sitting in the living room?”</p><p>“Were you snooping through my stuff?” Richie raised his brows at her.</p><p>“Duh, that’s what I do darling.” She made a face at him which sent them both into another fit of laughter.</p><p>“Have I ever told you how much I love you?”<br/>
“Yes, all the time. I’m incredible, I know. I love you too Rich, okay? And I promise things will get better. You just have literal years worth of feelings that you have still yet to get out, and I think I have a great idea of how to work on those.”</p><p>“I don’t want to talk to him... Not today, or tomorrow. Not after that.” Richies face set into a frown, his forehead creasing.</p><p>“You don’t have to talk... but what if you could sing it?” She wiggled her brows suggestively, looking side to side like she had a secret.</p><p>“Sing it? I’m not following you Bevs. I can’t exactly serenade someone with a boyfriend.”</p><p>“Maybe not now, but later you could. This assignment! Use it. Get those feelings out and then use it in the future. This fight and this boyfriend are two temporary things, okay? You guys aren’t.”</p><p>Richie thought about it for a second, and it’s like Beverly could see the wheels turn in his head and the bulb light up because they both grinned at each other at that exact same time.</p><p>“You are a fucking genius Beverly Marsh, I could kiss you right now.”</p><p>“Please don’t.” They both whipped their heads around to the doorway, where Ben, Beverlys long term boyfriend and one of Richies other best friends stood with a half smile on his face. “Don’t steal my girl just cause you can’t have your guy right now.”</p><p>They all laughed, even Stan did from his bedroom. Things started feeling a little bit better and Richie knew what his song was going to be about.</p><p>-</p><p>“A breakup song? But you guys never dated.” Beverly didn’t try to mask her confusion. She’s always been a no bullshit kind of person and Richie loved that.</p><p>“We didn’t literally date, no, but god we were practically a couple. You’ve said it yourself!” </p><p>“Okay Tozier, I’ll bite. Let’s hear it.”</p><p>Richie grinned, pulling his guitar out of the case. He sucked in a deep breath and began strumming.</p><p>Don't you call him "baby"<br/>
We're not talking lately<br/>
Don't you call him what you used to call me<br/>
I, I confess<br/>
I can tell that you are at your best<br/>
I'm selfish so I'm hating it<br/>
I notice that<br/>
There's a piece of you in how I dress<br/>
Take it as a compliment<br/>
Don't you call him "baby"<br/>
We're not talking lately<br/>
Don't you call him what you used to call me<br/>
I, I just miss<br/>
I just miss your accent and your friends<br/>
Did you know I still talk to them?<br/>
Does he take you walking 'round his parents' gallery?<br/>
Don't you call him "baby"<br/>
We're not talking lately<br/>
Don't you call him what you used to call me<br/>
Don't you call him "baby"<br/>
We're not talking lately<br/>
Don't you call him what you used to call me</p><p>“RICHIE WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD!!!”<br/>
Beverly screeched, scooting closer to him to look at his barely legible sheet with the final draft lyrics scribbled onto it. “Bitch! You didn’t tell me that you still talk to Mike and Bill!”</p><p>“Yeah,” He grinned, placing his guitar back in its box and moving to face Bev again. “They text me sometimes. I miss them a lot. They didn’t do anything wrong, so it never felt right to stop talking to them. I mean Eddie didn’t do anything wrong either, but... you know what I mean. So, uh... What do you think, good, bad?” He scratched his neck nervously laughing.</p><p>“Um, try fucking AMAZING! I can’t believe how you practically name dropped Justin without actually name dropping him... Like, damn you did not hesitate to say ‘I hate your rich boyfriend.”’ </p><p>“Yeah, I don’t know, it just felt right.” He smiled, feeling a bit more confident.</p><p>“But wait, isn’t it supposed to have a special audio somewhere in it? What are you going to do about that?”</p><p>	The smile left Richies face because he knew exactly what he was going to do. He wasn’t ready to hear it yet, though. That was for the recording process. He wasn’t doing that for another hour and he just wasn’t ready to hear Eddies voice until he had to so he played it off.</p><p>“Beverly, baby!” He boasted, obnoxiously ruffling her hair, “Don’t you like a little element of surprise?” He teased, giving her a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.</p><p>“You,” she pointed at him, “Are being suspicious. But I will let you have it since you wrote an amazing song in a week and I only had to come over and drag you out of bed to do it once!” She chuckled, popping up from her spot on the couch. “I gotta catch Ben for lunch! Send me the song when it’s recorded, okay?”</p><p>“Okay Bev.” He smiled up at her.</p><p>“You are incredibly. I love you. Have fun bub.” She booped his nose, quickly bounding out the front door with a giant smile still plastered on her face. </p><p>	Richie waved at her as she left, pure adoration on his face as he leaned into the couch. He felt his phone buzz and felt a bit of a panic, because even though it’s been months, he still kind of expects that Eddie will text him again at some point.</p><p>Stan da man: Wow, you’re a true artist. Great song, Rich! It made me sad. :-)</p><p>Richie smiled to himself before yelling,<br/>
“Stop eavesdropping Stanley! If you wanted to come listen all you had to do was ask!”</p><p>Another buzz.</p><p>Stan da man: I’m too tired to get out of my bed. Go record the song and send it to me when it’s done too! </p><p>“You got it!” </p><p>And with that, Richie grabbed his house key and headed out a little early to the schools studio to record for his project.</p><p>    He really cut it close with finishing, but he reasoned with himself that a week is barely enough time to write a good song, so recording the day before it was due was fine.<br/>
He had a 2 hour time slot, which he felt was really too much because recording was going to be so fast. He was afraid if he messed with the sound too much he might ruin it.</p><p>     He wanted to make sure the song is very stripped down and chill for the most part. Just something very raw, and mostly focused on him and his guitar. </p><p>So that’s what he did. He actually ended up spending about an hour and a half working on it, so he was thankful for the 2 hour slot. It was very dreamy and intimate, and the end of it was like a punch in the face for him. It was beautiful, though. He listened to it 3 times. It was also dreamy, but in an extremely painful way.</p><p>Richie added an audio of Eddie talking. He was speaking French in it, or atleast some of the little bit that he remembered from before his family moved when he was little. Richie adored that he knew french, and even swore that he still had a thick accent, to which Eddie always responded with a red face and shove. Richie thought it was adorable.</p><p>   Listening now hurt, but it added something to his song. It added who the song was about, obviously in a very literal way. However, to someone random looking in it added mystery, especially if they didn’t know french. It was almost eerie with the way Richie messed with the sound, but ultimately he knew it completed the song and the project.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Three things happened all at once. </p><p>1. Richies song started playing.<br/>2. Richie saw Eddie from across the room.<br/>3. Richie fainted</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is for Esther because she keeps me motivated to keep writing until 4:00 am!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Whatever Eddie! If you want to spend your time with some stuck up, snobby rich guy you’ve known for like a day who barely gives a shit about you instead of your actual friends who have been around for YEARS then that’s your problem.” Richie was screaming at that point.</p><p>      He was so pissed off. It was the third time that week that Eddie was blowing him off to hang out with his new loser friend Justin, who Richie swore was just trying to flash his money at someone to get them to like him. He just never pegged Eddie to be the type to be so easily entertained by it. He missed his friend, and yeah, he was extremely jealous have to share his time with him. At this point it wasn’t even shared time. He was having to entirely giving it up, and it hurt to feel replaceable. So, when Eddie cancelled plans this time he just couldn’t keep his mouth shut. It’s like he was just letting it all bottle up and it was slowly driving him mad.</p><p>“That ‘stuck up, snob’ you’re talking about is my fucking BOYFRIEND RICH. Stop being such an asshole to me for wanting to spend time with my BOYFRIEND.” Eddie responded with equal volume and anger.</p><p>      The word stung. Twice. </p><p>“Boyfriend? Since when?” Richies tone was defeated and he knew it. It had less bite but he  just couldn’t help it.</p><p>“We’ve been dating for a couple of weeks,” Eddie still sounded pissed but he was cooling off, “I was going to tell you eventually, but it’s just really new and we’re taking it slow. That’s why I’m trying to spend a lot of time with him dude.”</p><p>      Eddie was staring at him, inches away just giving him this look. It was like he could see something was very wrong and just couldn’t figure it out. He was trying to read Richie like he usually could, but the book was closed and all their was on his face was hurt. Richie really couldn’t help what came out next. He was pissed off, and so fucking jealous that he just had to let it out. </p><p>“I never thought you’d be the person to start a relationship and dump all of your friends.” He laughed, humorless, crossing the room to leave and not even bothering to look back at Eddie as he passed him. “Fuck you dude.”</p><p>“NO FUCK YOU,” Eddie screeched at him, but Richie wasn’t going to entertain it. </p><p>      He let the door slam on his way out and left his extra key to Eddies place under the mat. As far as he was concerned, the situation was above him.<br/>-</p><p>      That had been a month ago, and Eddie had tried to reach out about a week later. Richie was stubborn though, and decided he wouldn’t entertain a half assed apology through text. So, he ignored his message and left it at that for them. He knew he had plenty to apologize for too, but he didn’t make Eddie feel replaceable so that’s what kept him stubborn and strong with not reaching out. </p><p>      Their fights never seemed to last like this. Maybe a day or two, but never a full long month. This was the longest that they had went without speaking since they first met and it was weird to say the least. Richie thought a lot about how much he missed Eddie and wished things could go back to how they used to be. He also thought all too often of how he was sure that Eddie didn’t give a shit at that very moment, and was probably sucking his boyfriends dick and maybe he should stop being so sad and annoying. </p><p>      For some reason, Richie couldn’t get the fight out of his head as his professor played his assignment in a private room, which Richie had requested because the song felt too personal to play for the class. Dr. Neely had somewhat of a poker face the entire time and Richie was drowning out the words, trying extra hard at the end so he didn’t have to listen to Eddies voice. The best way to do that was to be angry with him, so that’s what he did. He played the fight over and over and reminded himself that Eddie barely tried to reach out so he doesn’t even care.</p><p>      He thought about how he wrote this song about how much he cares and misses him, and felt so embarrassed at how one sided it was. </p><p>      Despite his anger and embarrassment, he really did love the song. It was so special to him and he liked having a security blanket for his feelings. Even if they weren’t reciprocated.</p><p>When the sound cut in the private room Neely did a bit of a clap and smiled fondly at Richie.</p><p>“So you liked it?” Richie questioned, a sigh of relief escaping his lips, “Jesus fuck, you had me worried for a second. You should hit the casino, cause your poker face is too good.”</p><p>“I knew you would do this justice. Can I ask what that clip is at the end? Is it a voicemail? I didn’t know you spoke french.”</p><p>“I don’t, actually! It’s just a clip I have of someone I used to be close with talking. He knows a bit from when he was younger and I thought it sounded good with the song, so I just kinda threw it on at the end.”</p><p>“It was different, but it really worked. I hope you reach out to this friend, he inspired one of your greatest projects you’ve turned in for this class.” </p><p>“Maybe some day.” Richie gave him a tight lipped smile because the subject was making him feel a bit squeamish.</p><p>      So he got the feelings out and he feels great about it, it’s just the whole idea of talking about where he goes from this point wasn’t something he anticipated and he’s been getting nervous about that conversation. He loved the feeling of being told it’s great, though. He knew the song was good and catchy, but to hear that it’s one of his best works really brightened his day.</p><p>      When Neely dismissed him he made two texts to two different groups. One to Beverly, Ben, and Stan and the other to Bill and Mike. He titled the text “Cherry,” for his song title, attached the audio and clicked send, stuffing his phone into his pocket and heading home to get ready for the night.</p><p>-</p><p>“Shhhh, enough talking about the song!” Richie slurred to Beverley and Stan who had been hyping him up for the last hour, “I just wanna get, uhhh, very drunk! I deserve that, okay?”</p><p>“You already are drunk! So am I!” Beverly laughed a loud, honking noise and Richie joined in, both of them embracing as they stood up to leave.</p><p>“Lightweights,” Stan muttered, earning an approving nod from Ben as the two followed Richie and Beverley out of their apartment and to Bens car, “I can’t believe you two are already this drunk from pregaming!”</p><p>      Richie held his finger up, pushing it to Stans lips to squish them and make an exaggerated “shhhh” sound.</p><p>“Don’t hate the players Stanley,” he paused briefly exploding in laughter before continuing, “HATE THE GAME, HA! Get it cause it was a preGAME!” </p><p>       Stan flinched from his fingers touching his mouth, making a disgusted face at the contact. He rolled his eyes at the pair acting like children, making them ride in the backseat together and immediately regretting it as the claimed backseat gets “DJ rights.” </p><p>      By the time they got to the party, it was like the motion of the car went straight to Richie and Beverly. It could only be explained as the bathroom effect minus the bathroom. It’s like when you’re drunk, but then you go to the bathroom and you come back drunk. It just intensifies what’s already there.</p><p>      So, the two of them quickly became the life of the party. They did more shots because that was exactly what they needed at the time. They danced until they were sweating like complete pigs and couldn’t breathe. They hugged, and laughed, and even cried but it wasn’t even sad. They were just in the moment and doing everything that felt right.</p><p>“I’ll be right back!” Beverley screamed too loud in Richies ear, trying to outmatch the music.</p><p>“Where are you going?” He yelled back, neither of them flinching from literally screaming in the others ear.</p><p>“S’a surprise!” She grinned, smacking a kiss to his cheek and disappearing in the crowd. </p><p>Richie danced alone for a minute, too drunk to care or even feel self conscious about it. That’s when he noticed Mike and then Bill, and then he found himself spinning in circles waiting for the inevitable. He was still very drunk but his stomach was in knots and the room was spinning, and Jesus fuck, where is Beverly. </p><p>“Richie!!” Mike grinned when he caught his eye, pulling Bill with him who looked happy but a bit guarded as the pair approached him.</p><p>“Hi guys!” Richie started, feeling a little less worried because he hadn’t seen him so maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t there. </p><p>“H-hi, Rich! M-miss you b-buddy!” Bill greeted him sweetly, giving him a tight hug which mike gave him a much looser, sloppier one right after. </p><p>      It was clear that Bill was playing DD that night and Mike was playing sorority girl. Richie was in the same boat so he couldn’t judge.</p><p>“Is he—?” He didn’t even have to finish the question, Bill just nodded.</p><p>“Eddies here! You should talk to him,” Mike whined as Bill swatted at him, “What? He should! They both miss each other. I know you miss him, your song said so! He misses you too. Make up, please!” Mike pouted a bit and Richie immediately felt uncomfortable.</p><p>“This one goes out to Richie from his friend Beverley. She’s very proud!” Someone said over a mic and then it was happening.</p><p>      Three things happened all at once. </p><p>1. Richies song started playing.<br/>2. Richie saw Eddie from across the room.<br/>3. Richie fainted </p><p>-</p><p>“No, you can’t come in here. Not now, not like this Eddie.” </p><p>“I know you’re dealing with a lot. I get it, okay? I really do. But Richie passed out last night, he’s still asleep, and I don’t know what he remembers, if anything okay? You need to do this at his pace. You owe him that right now.” </p><p>“Please just go, I’ll call you when he wakes up. I promise that he’s okay.” </p><p>“Okay, I’ll update you hourly, now go!”</p><p>      Richie had to be dreaming. He knew that his memory from the past night had to be foggy. It had to be a dream. It literally could not have really been like that. There was no way he would believe that Beverley’s drunk ass played his song at a party that Eddie happened to be at. There was no way that Eddie was at his door right now, fighting Stan to come in and get answers. There was no way. </p><p>      Richie shifted on, yup, it was the couch. He was laying on the couch and that was already a bad sign. He fluttered his eyes open and immediately regretted it. The light was blinding and his head throbbed in protest as he leaned up, peeking over the back of the couch at Stan who was staring at him wide eyed with his hand to his mouth, miming a hush to him.</p><p>“Okay, just... text me Stan!” Richie heard Eddie say though the door and his face went completely pale. </p><p>They both relaxed when they heard footsteps retreating from the door and Richie was the first to break the silence.</p><p>“So that wasn’t a dream.” </p><p>“Nope. Not a dream Richie. Not a dream at all. He’s expecting answers.” Stan warned, coming to sit next to him on the couch. “How do you feel?”</p><p>“Like hell.” Richie responded quickly, laying his head in Stans lap and groaning. “What am I gonna do?”</p><p>“You could always come clean?” Stan suggested weakly and Richie violently shook his head.</p><p>“Are you crazy?”</p><p>“Yes! I’m a crazy person! Who do I think I am, suggesting you tell the truth?” Stan deadpanned, staring down at Richie without a trace of humor on his face.</p><p>Richie hid his eyes with his hands, groaning loudly. </p><p>“This is too much serious talk before I have had orange juice and Tylenol. Speaking of orange, where is my favorite ginger? I guess I should thank her for the destruction of my life last night!”</p><p>“Her and Ben are still passed out. In your bed.”</p><p>“So let me get this straight— Beverly bombs my night and then steals my bed and makes me sleep on the couch.” Richie looks up at a chuckling Stan.</p><p>“Yes, that’s exactly what happened.”</p><p>“I really am whipped for that woman.”</p><p>“Damn right you are.” Beverley walked into the living room, plopping so gracefully onto the couch next to them. She tossed a small bottle at Richie and gave him an apologetic smile. “Peace offering?”</p><p>“You’re using my ibuprofen from my nightstand as a peace offering?”</p><p>      Beverley grinned, nodding.</p><p>“I accept,” Richie laughed, popping the lid off the bottle and dry swallowing three pills quickly.</p><p>      He extended his feet over Beverly, breathing heavily as he looked between his two friends. “Ugh, guys, what are we gonna do?”</p><p>“We?” Stan said at the same time that Beverly said “We’ll figure it out.”</p><p>“My phone keeps buzzing.” Richie sighed, ignoring Stans comment because he decided that he is included whether he wants to be or not.</p><p>“Check it!” Stan and Bev said in unison.</p><p>“Noooo, what if it’s Eddie.”</p><p>“Oh it’s definitely Eddie,” Stan huffed, “he spent about half the night texting you and half the morning pounding on our front door.”</p><p>“Ugh, what happened last night, yknow, after I— yknow.” Richie crooked his neck to the side and stuck his tongue out.</p><p>“After you fainted? You didn’t die, you fainted.” Richie shoved him in embarrassment.<br/>“And no, I will not meddle in this. You want Eddies reaction, ask him yourself!”</p><p>      Richie rolled his eyes, knowing he should have expected this from Stan. Beverley was too gone to even notice Eddie was there, and Ben was probably too busy taking care of her to see Eddie, so that really did leave Richie with no other choice.</p><p>      He pulled out his phone, it lighting up immediately. </p><p>-48 missed calls from Eds<br/>-Eds text messages (72)</p><p>      Richie gulped, deciding to not browse through everything. He wouldn’t listen to a single voicemail, and he definitely was not going to go through all of the text messages. He would read the most recent message and respond to that and that only. </p><p>Eds: Rich please text me as soon as you wake up!! We need to talk.<br/>Richie: i’m up and alive! we can talk whenever.</p><p>      Eddies response was literally immediate, like he had already had it typed out and was waiting.</p><p>Eds: My apartment. In an hour?<br/>Richie: okay. see ya then!</p><p>-</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He opened his mouth to speak a few times. Maybe he’d try to explain himself. He couldn’t get words out, though. He couldn’t form a coherent sentence to explain why he passed out because he wasn’t ready to just lay it all on Eddie and scare the shit out of him with the whole, </p><p>	Oh yeah, that? Sorry, I just wrote the saddest break up song about you for a break up that we’ve never had because I’ve been to chicken shit to tell you how fucking into you I’ve been since the literal second I met you! Also, your boyfriend is scum, kiss me!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is... something else! Let me know what you guys think! I’m literally working on chapter 4 at the moment so hope everyone enjoys!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Richie paced outside of Eddies building, going for the door and then retreating back to the grassy area to do a few more circles. He needed time. God knows why he agreed to be here in only an hour. That was barely enough time for him to get dressed and over here. Where were the crucial moments to ponder what the hell he was about to do?</p><p>	His phone buzzed.</p><p>Eds: Stop pacing and come upstairs jackass, you’re probably freaking people out.</p><p>	Richie gulped, reading the text and purposely avoiding looking up at Eddies window as he bolted for the building door. Once inside, his nerves went from a 10 to a million. He thought that at this point things would feel a bit more calm, but it was like walking through the threshold had the very opposite effect on him. His palms felt sweaty, and his knees were wobbly, but he still clicked the elevator button, still got in, and still managed to make it to Eddies floor.</p><p>	Once outside his door, he planned to stand there and think about things yet again, but Eddie had different plans for him.</p><p>	Eddie was standing half out the door, staring at Richie in the elevator like he thought he would leave once he got up here. Richie silently cursed him for doing that because, yeah, maybe that was one of his potential plans if he didn’t feel right once he got to the door. </p><p>	He honestly had half the notion to click the “close door” button on the elevator, but the look on Eddies face made him opt out of that option. He slowly crossed the distance between them, and stopped abruptly in front of Eddie, avoiding eye contact just a little bit.</p><p>“Fancy seeing you here,” Richie joked, a nervous chuckle escaping his lips. </p><p>	Eddie was grinning back at him, completely genuinely and it gave Richie a feeling of ease. At least he wasn’t mad at him, for now.</p><p>“I live here asshole,” He smiled, motioning into his apartment for Richie to follow him in, “come on, let’s talk. We can sit on the couch.”</p><p>“Right to business, huh Eds?” Richie quirked a brow, following closely behind his friend and silently cursing himself for saying weird shit. He just can’t help it, he’s filterless.</p><p>“Don’t call me that,” Eddie warned, ignoring his crudeness and patting the spot next to him on the couch, “You hit the ground pretty hard last night. I was worried you might be concussed.” </p><p>“Funny how we came full circle like that, huh?” Richie laughed again, but Eddie wasn’t humoring him anymore.</p><p>	Eddie gave him a look of concern, and maybe even a little disappointment. </p><p>“Let’s be serious for one fucking second, okay? I know you were pretty drunk last night, I think that was pretty obvious-“</p><p>“You know what else was obv-“</p><p>“Let me finish,” Eddie shushed him with a finger to his mouth and Richie made an ‘O’ with his mouth, going stiff and wide eyed at the contact because holy fucking shit, Eddie was touching his mouth, “As I was saying, I know you were drunk, but I don’t think that’s why you passed out.”</p><p>	Eddie looked at him expectantly and Richie felt the hair on his arms stand. Something about being under Eddies gaze, knowing that he knows something was fishy and he probably can’t talk his way out of it made him feel so vulnerable. He opened his mouth to speak a few times. Maybe he’d try to explain himself. He couldn’t get words out, though. He couldn’t form a coherent sentence to explain why he passed out because he wasn’t ready to just lay it all on Eddie and scare the shit out of him with the whole, </p><p>	Oh yeah, that? Sorry, I just wrote the saddest break up song about you for a break up that we’ve never had because I’ve been to chicken shit to tell you how fucking into you I’ve been since the literal second I met you! Also, your boyfriend is scum, kiss me!</p><p>	Eddies eyes were still on him, and if he looked confused before, he was out of this world unaware of what the fuck to do now. Richie felt even more nervous because momentarily he worried that maybe Eddie could read his fucking mind and was freaking out. That was just a dumb thought though, and speaking of dumb thoughts, of course his dumbass brain had to make him think about kissing Eddie when their proximity is like this. And come to think of it his lips look pretty soft, a little pouty, but still very soft. Ugh, Richie had to snap out of it. </p><p>“Um, I mean... Why do you think that happened then Eds?” Playing dumb.</p><p>	Yes, he was actually playing dumb. He couldn’t even believe it himself. </p><p>	Eddie couldn’t believe it either. His brow quirked up because obviously he was thrown off, but he recovered quickly, kind of like a small part of him might have been expecting an answer like that. </p><p>“Well, I was hoping you could fill in those blanks for me... Or we could just go right in to talking about that son-“</p><p>“Filling in the blanks it is!” Richie cut him off, his face going completely hot and red.</p><p>He played with his thumbs for a second, pointedly avoiding eye contact with Eddie so he could think of how he wanted to say this.</p><p>“I was... Pretty drunk last night, yeah. I was honestly already feeling a bit dizzy too.. Then the guy on the microphone announced the song and I saw you and it was just like... Like everything hit me at once. We hadn’t talked in so long and I guess it just freaked drunk me out to have so much happening at once..” Richie paused, gulping and deciding if he wanted to say anymore, “So yeah, I guess that’s it..”</p><p>	Eddie folded his arms and sat back, sighing a bit, which immediately caught Richies attention. He looked up and finally made actual, strong eye contact with him. He felt like he had been caught in a lie.</p><p>“So, you fainted because you saw me.. And it made you feel overwhelmed?” Eddie wasn’t buying it, his tone said it all. His eyes were pleading with Richie, it’s like they were begging him to just spill the truth.</p><p>“Yup.” Richie retorted, dramatically popping his lips. He sat back because he’s annoying and he’s decided that that’s the story he’s sticking with for now. </p><p>“Well okay, I guess we can talk about the song then.” Eddie paused, aware of the change in Richies posture. “You don’t have to be nervous Rich.”</p><p>“I kinda do,” Richie averted his eyes from Eddies gaze to make this easier, “Are you sure we have to talk about this?” He whined.</p><p>“Yes.” Eddie sat up stubbornly, sliding a hand on Richies knee comfortingly, “Please, Rich, just tell me what it means. I feel... I don’t know!” He paused, breathing heavily and sighing loudly like he couldn’t think of how to articulate his feelings. </p><p>“I feel like my life was just flipped upside down, and no one was there to talk me through it. Then, you go and faint on me and Stan is playing the protective father who’s son is ‘not having any guests until he’s better!’ Did you mean all of that in the song? Did you mean it how I think you did?”</p><p>“Who says it’s about you?” Richie tries and Eddies eyes go wide, which makes Richie laugh a little bit. “I’m kidding, it obviously is... About you Eddie. And yeah, um, I meant it-”</p><p>“That’s.. Well,” Eddie cut him off, pulling back a bit but leaving his hand on Richies knee, which Richie was hyper aware of. He blinked a few times like he couldn’t believe it maybe? Or maybe he was disgusted, Richie thought. “That’s a lot to take in.. I never knew you fe-“</p><p>“I meant it in a friend way.” Richie cut him off to save face, pulling back and crossing his legs for some space. He didn’t want to have to face rejection so he was just going to nip it in the bud. Lying was gonna have to work for him. </p><p>“A friend way?” Eddie question, brows furrowing like he was extremely confused and caught off guard.</p><p>“Awhile ago,” Richie corrected, “I it wasn’t in the most... friend way. I used to have strong feelings for you, but knew it would never happen so i let it go. I drew some inspiration from that for the song. The whole purpose now is like... uh, friend jealously.. Yeah, I was just jealous that I didn’t get to be around you as much so I guess I added that element to the song too.”</p><p>“Oh.” Richie swore Eddies face dropped, in disappointment? “So you used to like me-“</p><p>“Used to, yeah!” What the fuck am I doing, Richie thought. </p><p>“-But you don’t anymore...?” </p><p>“Yeah...” No, “I mean, I’ll always love you Eds. Even when we’re mad at each other and I’m acting like a jerk out of jealousy, you’re always gonna be my best friend. And I just wanted to say I’m sorry for everything.. I miss how things used to be.”</p><p>“When you liked me.” Eddie added with a small hint of a smile starting to play on his lips and Richie flinched. Damn, he was so grossed out he had to make a joke out of it. </p><p>“I mean yeah, but also just when we were friends and talked all the time... We don’t have to keep talking about my old crush,” Richie gulped, “I know it’s gross and would never happen.. I just want everything back to how it used to be.”</p><p>“I’m just really confused right now,” Eddie started and Richie held up a finger.</p><p>“Can’t we just forget the whole ‘me liking you’ think, please? I didn’t ever want it to be like this. I just want my friend back. I promise it’s not like that anymore. I’ll even try to hangout with Justin if it just means I can have you back in a semi-normal way.”</p><p>“Justin,” Eddie whispered to himself, his face completely down and disappointed. He was really confusing Richie with all of his mood changes.</p><p>	He didn’t want to get too hopeful and think that Eddie’s disappointed that he doesn’t like him anymore. He’s sure Eddie’s just confused and maybe kind of sad that he could have led Richie on in someway. Or, maybe he’s just extremely repulsed and feels bad about it. Either way, Richie just wants to pretend it never happened because this conversation is stressing him out.</p><p>“Yeah, your boyfriend,” the word felt like curdled milk in Richies mouth, “I’ll try to hangout with you guys if that’ll make you happy. Or we could just hangout, me, you, my friends and yours? Like old times, ya know, a losers club meeting?” </p><p>“Sure,” Eddie agreed, recovering from whatever he was just experiencing, a plotting grin taking over his face.</p><p>“So, friends again?” Richie peeked at Eddies eyes.</p><p>	Eddie held out a hand, formally, bursting into laughter and pulling Richie in for a hug when Richie accepted. It lasted for such a long time, and honestly Richie was not complaining about that. He missed the body on body contact with Eddie. They’ve always been really touchy, so he was kind of experiencing withdrawals from his touch. When he finally went to pull back because it felt like they were hugging for forever and a day, Eddie pulled him back in for one more squeeze and it tugged at his heart.</p><p>“The best of friends,” Eddie snorted and Richie gave him a confused look.</p><p>	Eddie just shrugged and smiled like he had a secret.</p><p>“You’re so weird, I missed you. We’ll hangout soon?” Richie questioned hopefully.</p><p>“Yeah, how about next weekend? I have a lot of studying to do this weekend for a test on Monday, but we can definitely have a losers club meeting next Saturday.”</p><p>“It’s a date,” Richie said before he could think and his eyes went wide.</p><p>“But not like that-“ Eddie giggled at Richies shock, swatting at him as he got off the couch and they both started heading for the front door.</p><p>“You’re never gonna let me live this one down, huh Eds?” Richie asked jokingly, though he was being kind of serious. It wouldn’t be fun to have to deal with this torment all the time, especially when his feelings are still fresh on his mind and very much still there. </p><p>“Not a chance Trashmouth,” Eddie beamed at him, his hand lingering on Richies back and sending chills down his spine as he gently pushed him out the door.</p><p>“I’ll text you.” Richie smiled.</p><p>“Good!” Eddie returned the smiling, pausing for a second, “and Rich?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Just for the record, I don’t think it’s gross... at all. And you should never say never.”</p><p>      With that, Eddie shut his door and Richie could hear the click of the lock. Richies smile that had been plastered on his face had dropped and he was running for the elevator. He pulled out his phone, went right to his contact list, and hit call.</p><p>	She answered on the first ring.</p><p>“Beverley, I fucked up.”</p><p>-</p><p>      Richie had to admit that he never thought Eddie would be someone who would play a sick joke like that on him. It was obvious that he was just trying to make Richie feel better about what happened the other night, and he just had a kind of fucked up way of doing it. Richie decided that he was just going to pretend like it didn’t happen. He’d continue like normal, but not the new past month normal, instead the old one where him and Eddie were attached at the hip and he was secretly loving him.</p><p>      Eddie made that pretty fucking hard though, with his new way of texting. He was acting a lot more needy than he used to be, and it made Richies heart beat a mile a fucking minute.</p><p>Eds: Hey, I miss you :( maybe we could hang out sooner, just the two of us? </p><p>Richie: miss you too Eds! And, betray our friends? Never! It’ll just be a couple more days... plus I’m working on another project for music class. It’s supposed to be fruit inspired lol </p><p>      Richie wasn’t really a liar. He kind of was, but not about the project. He actually did have to write a song inspired by or mentioning a friut in it. Thankfully, he had a lot longer to work that one out. So he wasn’t actually working on it at the moment, in theory. If it was  even semi-on his mind then he was technically working on it, therefore not being a total liar. It wasn’t his main reason for declining to hangout with Eddie, though. The idea of alone time with Eddie is great until he starts thinking about that last line that Eddie left him with. He’s too nervous something like that will happen again and he won’t be able to laugh it off. </p><p>      Beverley told him he’s an idiot, and Eddies obviously flirting. But what does she know? After all, her and Ben pinned over each other for years before they got together.</p><p>Eds: oh, another song ;) </p><p>      Richie gasped at the text. His fingers a little shaky as he tried to respond. Ugh, what business did he have sending him a fucking winking face. </p><p>Richie: Yup, and it’s not gonna write itself so I must go Eds Spageds, duty calls!</p><p>Eds: you can’t be this clueless...</p><p>Richie: But I am, I have no clue how I’m going to write this song if I keep texting you and neglecting my work &gt;:| see you Friday xoxo</p><p>Eds: You... are insufferable, but fine, I give up! I’ll see you Friday &lt;3</p><p>      The heart... Ugh! Eddie was trying to kill him. Richie laid in his bed, doing nothing but thinking about that heart all night and then much of the next day when he woke up and decided to do nothing all over again. </p><p>“Get up loverboy,” Beverley slammed his door open, giggling at Richies shocked face, flashing him her bobby-pin between her fingers.</p><p>“Who let you in,” he groaned, sitting up because there’s no point in fighting, “And I’m gonna have to get a door with a deadbolt.”</p><p>“What fun would that be,” Bev playfully pouted pulling a shirt out of Richies drawer and throwing it at him, “Get dressed! Stanley let me in because he loves me and agrees that you are a clueless fool, who needs a cute outfit to impress Eddie with this weekend.”</p><p>“You guys are so annoying, he’s just trying to make me feel bet-“</p><p>“Enough,” She cut him off, pinching the bridge of her nose dramatically, “I won’t listen to this nonsense anymore! We will be waiting in the living room, now hurry!”</p><p> “FINE!” Richie shouted after her. “But for the record, this is stupid!”</p><p>      So, apparently Richie was going to get a cute new outfit for this weekend to impress someone who doesn’t give a shit. Fun.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Clueless Richie... ugh, so annoying, right? Will he ever get a clue? Guess you’ll have to wait til next chapter and find out.</p><p>But seriously, thank you so much for reading this! I love you for taking the time to actually read my work, you are the best!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Wait guys! I have a really good one!” Beverly shouted, pulling them back into reality which made Richie kind of sad because he was enjoying being all touchy with Eddie.</p><p>“Never have I ever made a tik tok!” Everyone drank except for Beverley and Ben.</p><p>The losers all looked at them, their brows raising in question.</p><p>“She made me!” Ben held his hands up innocently, causing everyone to burst into laughter.</p><p>“You are all SO uncultured,” Beverley whined, pulling her phone out and opening the app, “let’s make one!”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yes I stayed up until 3:30 editing this chapter... and no I have absolutely no regrets about making reddie make a thirst trap tik tok...</p><p>Thank you for reading, I hope you all enjoy! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Friday came fast, and it’s not like Richie wasn’t excited for it. He was. He was really excited to hangout with his friends again and have the group back to normal. It’d be the first time that they were all hanging out in over a month, though, and he was extremely nervous that things were going to be different.</p><p>      When his fight with Eddie happened, everyone kind of went back to their respective groups. Richie didn’t ask Stan or Bev and Ben to not talk to the others, and he doesn’t think that Eddie asked Bill and Mike to either. It was kind of just a mutual agreement to support their original friend. So, they all hadn’t actually spent time together in awhile.</p><p>      Richie missed Mike and Bill so fucking much though. He still texted them, and he had seen them at the party but that barely counts. He couldn’t wait to actually spend time hangout out with them in person again.</p><p>      Then there was Eddie. Eddie who was sending him confusing texts. Eddie who he’s pretty sure is actually laughing at him and making his feelings into a joke to help himself cope with the disgusting feeling of being loved by him, Richie Tozier. Eddie fucking Kaspbrak, who he is wearing a brand new, well actually thrifted because he cares about the fucking environment, outfit picked out by Beverley Marsh, the fashion major herself. It looks good too. He’s wearing a lime green shirt with a checkered pattern, a white turtleneck underneath, and black pants that kinda flare at the ends. The pants’ stitching is white so it contrasts with the black and ties everything in, which is what Beverly explained to him, but honestly he doesn’t care about all of that, he just thinks it looks neat. </p><p>      So, here he is, outside of Ben and Beverley’s house because that is their agreed upon meeting spot so they can be “as loud as they want” according to Bill. Whatever that means. </p><p>      He’s here, matching clothing and all. He even put product in his hair, but not really because he wanted to, more so because Beverley threatened to wash his hair and put product in it herself if he showed up with a “jungle on his head.” He knew she wasn’t kidding at all, even if she laughed when she said it. So he decided to not take any chances with Bev and cleaned up nice to avoid the risk of an impromptu shower.</p><p>      He went in to see that Bill was already there. So, temporarily it was just the four of them. Stan, Mike, and Eddie were still in class and Richie would be if he hadn’t skipped today. He emailed professor Neely and said he was sick, which wasn’t a complete lie. He was pretty nervous, which kind of made him feel sick to his stomach. A half truth! </p><p>“I think that we should all get this party started.” Bill suggested smugly, reaching for his bag and pulling out a giant bottle of UV blue.</p><p>      Everyone, even Bill joined in, began booing at once.</p><p>“Bro, what is wrong with you!” Ben chuckled and Bev agreed immediately.</p><p>“Yeah, are you trying to kill us?”</p><p>“No way, you guys used to drink this shit too?” Bill laughed, cracking the seal and taking a swig straight from the bottle. Everyone cringed. “I just found this in Georgie’s room when I was visiting home and had to swipe it! It’s been in my closet collecting dust, and then I was about to leave and saw it just sitting there and was like ‘fuck it, I’m bringing it for old times sake.’ I can’t believe you guys drank this shit in high school too, I swear we all lived the same life.”</p><p>“Everyone drank UV blue in high school Billiam, it’s a right of passage.” Richie laughed, reaching his hand out for the bottle and following Bills lead in straight up shooting it.</p><p>      He was going to need an abundance to alcohol to calm his nerves before Eddie got there.</p><p>      He didn’t waste time by letting the blue liquid slosh around in his mouth. He sealed as quickly as possible, but it somehow still wasn’t quick enough. It was so sickly sweet and made his nose scrunch even though the alcohol flavor wasn’t too present. </p><p>      He remembered the flavor, but not entirely. It’s like he blocked it from his memory, and for good reason. It tasted like bad decisions, awful hangovers, and unwanted thoughts of kissing a certain someone. He took another swig.</p><p>“Have fun dying, you guys are insane.” Beverley turned her head giggling when Richie hopped on the couch next to her.</p><p>“No way,” he shoved the bottle into her lap, “you aren’t getting out of this! We’re gonna finish this entire bottle for old times sake.” He demanded and they all broke into a fit of laughter.</p><p>“Wait, I have an idea!” Ben announced and everyone looked to him, giving him their full attention. “Let’s ditch the bottle so the others don’t know what it is when they get here! We’ll just make them drinks so they can’t protest.”</p><p>“Benjamin!” Richie exclaimed, jumping to him and planting a loud, wet kiss on each of his cheeks, “You, good sir, are a genius! Let’s do it.”</p><p>-</p><p>“What the fuck-“</p><p>“Ew!”</p><p>“Eyuck-“ Stan actually spit his drink out, back into his cup and coughed loudly, letting dry heaves out. </p><p>Everyone laughed at their reactions, especially Stans, Richie laughing so hard he swore his drink came out of his nose.</p><p>“I can’t fucking believe you made me drink UV blue, do you know how severe my alcohol poisoning was the last time I drank this shit?” Mike joked, patting Stans back as he sat next to him on the couch.</p><p>“There’s a four loko in the fridge if you need something to wash it down, Mikey.” Beverly deadpanned.</p><p>      The entire group laughed at that, except for Stan. He was still heavily breathing and entirely going through it.</p><p>      They continued like that for a couple of hours. Richie was sat next to Eddie on the couch because that’s where Eddie decided to plop as soon as he came in. Their legs weren’t touching, but with each sip of his drink it seemed that Eddie was getting closer and Richies heart was beating faster.</p><p>“I like your outfit,” Eddie smiled up at Richie, peeking through his lashes at him and maybe even fluttering them a bit. He touched Richies turtleneck collar first, then his hand trailed down, rubbing the stitching on his pants pocket, “Very, stylish. Did you let Beverly dress you?”</p><p>“What, you think I can’t dress myself stylishly?” Richie raised his brows and pushed his chest out in mock confidence. </p><p>      He sounded confident but he was dying inside. Eddie was touching him and basically telling him he looks cute, right? Stylish was code for cute. His buzzed brain decided that.</p><p>       He almost let himself get excited, until he thought about Justin. Then it was back to scheduled programming. He was dumb for thinking Eddie thought he was cute, he was just back on the weird messing with him thing. Or, he was drinking too much too fast.</p><p>“Don’t you dare take credit for my work!” Beverley boasted from across the room, snickering when Richie glared at her.</p><p>“I have an idea.” Stan spoke up after what felt like ages.</p><p>“He speaks!” Richie joked.</p><p>“Sorry, I needed time to recover from the attempted murder from earlier,” Stan sighed? Clutching his vodka sprite close because he was the only one who absolutely refused to drink the UV blue, his experience too traumatizing to talk about, “Why don’t we play ‘never have I ever?”’</p><p>“What is ‘never have I ever?”’ Ben asked from his position next to Beverley. She smiled at him adoringly. </p><p>“What, you guys don’t play it in bed?” Richie snorted and everyone groaned.</p><p>“That doesn’t even make sense,” Stan rolled his eyes before smiling over at Ben, “It’s a drinking game! You say something you’ve never done, and if anyone has done it they have to drink. You can even say something you have done and drink if you’re curious to see who else has done it.”</p><p>“That defeats the purpose of it being ‘Never Have I ever’ though,” Eddie scrunched his brows, obviously never hearing of that rule. </p><p>“Well, that’s how I play it, so that’s how we’re playing it!” Stan proclaimed.</p><p>“Sounds easy enough, I can start!” Ben exclaimed, smiling as he brought his drink close to his mouth. “Never have I ever kissed one of the losers.”</p><p>      He took a sip cooly, and Beverley chuckled, also gulping from her drink. Everyone else’s jaws dropped a bit, panic setting into all of their eyes but Eddies. One by one they drank, first Bill, then Mike, and then Stan. Richie raised his brow at Stan who’s face was oddly red for a kiss that literally did not matter and barely even qualifies as an actual kiss.</p><p>      Eddie positioned his body to face Richie, his eyes questioning him before he vocally could. </p><p>“I had to plant one on Stan Freshman year when we went to the beach! He nearly drowned from swimming right after eating. Yeah, bet you’ll never do that again Stanley,” Stan glared at him from across the couch, “And hey, don’t give me that look! Just remember who put air in your lungs when you couldn’t.”</p><p>      Eddies body relaxed like he just had the best news of his life, and Richie wondered if he imagined that or if it really happened. He scooted closer to Richie, practically laying on him at that point. He was sure that was real, he knew it had to be. He could feel it and it was making him feel all fuzzy on the outside, kinda like how the alcohol was making him feel on the inside. </p><p>      They all badgered Bill and Mike for an explanation and they just laughed, both agreeing that their lips were sealed. They kept looking at Stan though, and it was all pretty suspicious. It was enough to pull Richie’s attention away from Eddie and their proximity, so he knew it was something worth bringing up. He decided he’d have to ask Stan about it later, when it was just the two of them. </p><p>“Never have I ever broken up with a significant other.” Mike blurted out, clearly trying to avert everyone’s attention from him and the others. </p><p>He pointedly stared over to Eddie. Eddie drank, and Richies heart started beating faster.</p><p>“You and Justin?” Richie asked, locking eyes with Eddie who shook his head.</p><p>“We are no more!” His smile was small and a little bit shy. “It just, didn’t feel right anymore.”</p><p>“Cool.” Richie responded quickly, trying to sound nonchalant but really his insides were screaming, EDDIE IS FUCKING AVAILABLE.</p><p>      The tension in the room was high and it felt like all eyes were on the two of them but they soon recovered when Bill had to explain himself after drinking. Everyone went around the circle, getting their never have I ever out one by one. Things had shifted though, Richie could feel Eddies eyes burning into him, so he needed a distraction. That distraction being a lot more alcohol in his system. </p><p> </p><p>“Never have I ever, fucked one of the losers moms.” Richie laughed, pretty smashed at this point and only adding fuel to the fire by quickly finishing off his drink.</p><p>Everyone groaned, Beverley kicking off her sock to bunch it up and throw it at him. Eddie shoved off of him, humorlessly.</p><p>“You have not fucked my mom!” He tried to sound annoyed but he was laughing because he too, was pretty drunk now. They all were. </p><p>“I have in my head, and that,” Richie reached over to Eddie to tickle him, “is all that matters, Eds!”</p><p>“Don’t.. AHH! Fucking call me.. STOP IT AHHH, Eds!!” Eddie protested through giggles.</p><p>“Wait guys! I have a really good one!” Beverley shouted, pulling them back into reality which made Richie kind of sad because he was enjoying being all touchy with Eddie.</p><p>“Never have I ever made a tik tok!” Everyone drank except for Beverley and Ben.</p><p>The losers all looked at them, their brows raising in question.</p><p>“She made me!” Ben held his hands up innocently, causing everyone to burst into laughter.</p><p>“You are all SO uncultured,” Beverley whined, pulling her phone out and opening the app, “let’s make one!”</p><p>They all went back and forth about the situation. Stan not wanting to be in one because it’s embarrassing, everyone else not knowing what to do.</p><p>“I refuse to do a dancing one!” Richie announced quickly, earning a giggle from Eddie who shoved him.</p><p>“Why not?” Eddie asked with a whiny tone, leaning in a little too close. </p><p>      His arm was resting on Richies shoulder so they were completely face to face. </p><p>“I just,” Richie paused because he could barely think much less form a sentence with Eddies face so close to his, “I um, don’t wanna look stupid. Plus I fucking refuse to spend hours learning how to renegade.”</p><p>“I GOT IT!” Beverley yelled, staring at the two of them and giggling when they both jumped like they’d been caught doing something bad. </p><p>      They both pulled away from each other to look at Beverley who was already showing the others her reference video. The music was... sexual and Richie was nervous about where this was going.</p><p>“And they just kind of, choke the other one, ya know?”</p><p>“What’s this about choking, Beaverly,” Richie crossed the room, sadly leaving his spot next to Eddie and smiling smugly when Bev curled her lip at the nickname. </p><p>“You won’t be so smug in a few minutes,” she recovered quickly, turning her screen to Richie to show him the video, “I want you and Eddie to do this. I dare you.” Her grin was pure evil.</p><p> </p><p>      Richie watched, his eyes bulging as he realized what kind of video it was. They didn’t show up on his for you page very often, but he did see one or two. It was one of those “seducing my straight friend” videos, where the “gay friend” would sing “Neither do I” by Jeremih to the straight one in hopes of seducing them. They usually would sexually choke their friend and sometimes even sit on them or kiss up on their neck. Richie laughed nervously.</p><p>“Neither of us are straight, nice try!” He laughed and Beverley shook her head.</p><p>“It’s called acting!” </p><p>“I can’t act straight, it’s not possible.” Eddie piped up and Beverley burst into a fit of giggles.</p><p>“I know baby, that’s why you’re gonna be the seductive one. Richie, you get to play the straight one.”</p><p>“Are you being biphobic right now?” Richie glared at her, but only for a second before laughing with her.</p><p>“Absolutely not, you’ll just be easier to make squirm.” </p><p>“What does that even mea-“</p><p>“What am I doing?” Eddie popped up from his spot giddily, way too excited.</p><p>      He sat down next to Beverley and watched the video, a huge smile lighting up on his very obviously drunk face. Beverley whispered something in his ear and his eyes went wide, but he nodded in agreement and his smile returned only a little more reserved this time.</p><p>“Look away, Richie,” Beverley warned, motioning for him to go, “Go grab a chair and come back, we want an authentic reaction!” </p><p>“Ughhh,” Richie wanted to protest but he was too drunk to come up with an argument and honestly probably to drunk to get a chair in the living room, “Fine! But can someone please help me!” He made a pouty face, and the mistake of looking at Eddie.</p><p>      He was staring right at him with a look on his face that sent shock waves right down to Richies...</p><p>“I’ll help,” Ben volunteered before Richie could get ahead of himself.</p><p>      They retreated to the kitchen, deciding to wait in there for a second so the others would have plenty of time to plot in the other room.</p><p>“Did you know him and Justin broke up?” Richie asked quickly, as soon as he was sure they couldn’t hear him in the living room.</p><p>“I didn’t,” Ben paused like he was deciding if he wanted to say the next bit, “I guess now is your chance to make a move, right?”</p><p>“Ha, Yeah! Right.” Richie laughed because that suggestion was just that, laughable. He was drunk, but not too drunk to know that Eddie wasn’t in to him like that. He would have said so by now, and not by saying he’s not grossed out by him.</p><p>“Are you sure you want that?” Ben asked as Richie poured himself a shot and downed it quickly.</p><p>“I think I need it,” Richie poured another, downing that one too and making a disgusted face, “Alright, I think that’s enough time that they’ve had to plan on humiliating me, don’t you?” </p><p>      Ben smiled and patted Richies shoulder as he tried to grab the chair, shaking his head a bit.</p><p>“I got it buddy.”</p><p>“My savior,” Richie swooned, hanging onto him as they walked back into the room and were both greeted with awkward smiles and hushed giggles from everyone else.</p><p>“I don’t even want to know,” Richie pointed at them all, laughing too loud and earning a concerned glance from Beverley.</p><p>“Richie, you better be able to sit still! And you better not pass out again.” She snickered.</p><p>      Richie rolled his eyes and sat in the chair that Ben placed in the middle of the room, directly in front of Beverley who had her phone out planning the angle. Eddie walked up to him slowly and bent down until they were face to face.</p><p>“Hey,” Eddie breathes, batting his lashes at Richie.</p><p>“Ha, um, no promises.” Richie bit his lip nervously, unintentionally ignoring Eddies greeting and then pointedly not looking at his eyes but instead right passed them, behind his head.</p><p>      Stop feeling like this, he told himself. You are way too drunk and way too horny for someone who is just acting, knock it off! </p><p>“Shut up,” Beverley stood up and moved around until she had positioned herself to what she called “the perfect angle” to capture the video, “Okay, so when I start recording you have to look away from Eddie, okay Richie?”</p><p>“Not a problem!” He responded, his voice unintentionally going up an octave.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, I’ll use a timer so you can hear it count down From 10...”</p><p>The beeps counted down, 9, 8, 7. Was Eddie getting closer?</p><p>      Eddie was already close. Like really close, to where he could feel his breath on his cheek and his body heat radiating into his side. Richies body was on fire.</p><p>6, 5, 4... He was definitely getting much closer, how is that even fucking possible, Richie thought. His lips were practically pressed to Richies ear and, fuck, that’s such a sensitive spot. </p><p>3, 2, 1...</p><p>“Yeah,” Eddie breathed into Richies ear, doing exactly what he had suspected but hoped wasn’t true for the sake of his ability to function. He sat in Richies fucking lap. His palms pressed flat against Richies chest and Richie’s breath caught in his throat, but at least he remembered to look away. </p><p>      Fuck it, he thought. He’s gonna give them the best show. He’ll feed right into it because this is hot and it’s supposed to make him horny, that’s like the whole fucking point of these videos. He might as well give the people what they want and look the part. </p><p>     Eddie responded to his head turning by firmly grabbing ahold of his jaw, and jerking his head over quickly to face him, giving them both no option but to lock eyes. Their lips were inches apart and Eddies eyes were all liddy, with this fucking look like he was about to pounce on Richie. His eyes went so fucking wide and he instinctively rested his hands on Eddies hips, pulling him down and closer. Eddie responded with the slightest body roll, and Richie bit his lip to hold back any sounds daring to escape.</p><p>“Let’s take off the top, go hit the club,” Eddie mouthed the words as they played over the speaker of Bev’s phone, and his eyes darkened. The sexiest smirk in the world was playing at his lips as he moved his thumb up to pull Richie’s lip out from between his teeth. Richie sucked in a quick breath as Eddies hand slid from Richies jaw, down to his neck. He gave it a squeeze, leaning back down to his ear to whisper, yes, he actually fucked said this part out loud, “do you know what it feels like to fall in love?” He nipped at Richies ear a bit roughly, sending shockwaves right down to his dick.</p><p>      Richie whimpered... He fucking whimpered, squeezing at Eddies hips as he pulled back. Eddie was still smiling as he leaned in close, their lips practically touching. They were almost there, so much that Richie closed his eyes because, fuck it, they were doing this. Fully committing to the video!</p><p>“Take off the top, ready to fuck.” He could feel Eddies lips move, almost against his. They were right there, but they weren’t. The ultimate tease. Richie squeezed Eddies hips again because, fuck, yes he was ready for anything.</p><p>      The room went dead silent then and Eddie started pulling back. </p><p>      Richies eyes were still shut. The loss of contact stung and he felt dizzy and stupid for thinking they were actually going to kiss. Eddie was just acting, and he was supposed to be.</p><p>“So, is anyone else like really horny after that?” Beverley broke the silence and everyone laughed awkwardly. “Just me? Okay!”</p><p>      Richie dared to open his eyes, only to see Eddie staring at him, bedroom eyes still in full swing. Fuck, why was he doing this to him? He was still in his lap which was so distracting, and his hands were still on Eddies hips, securely holding him there. Another big distraction. </p><p>“Um,” Richie released Eddies hips, “Sorry, natural instinct.” He apologized, realizing he had another problem as Eddie moved to get up. </p><p>“Please, don’t.” Richie begged, has hands coming back down to grip at Eddies sides. </p><p>Eddie raised his brows momentarily in confusion, shifting his body weight a bit, eyes bulging as he got the memo. </p><p>“Oh-“ he swayed his hips a bit, like he was making sure that was actually what he was feeling, “ohhhh.” He grinned, looking down at Richie.</p><p>“I am so sorry-“ Richie started but Eddie shut him up quickly, a finger to his lips.</p><p>“Not your fault.” He shrugged, peering over at the rest of the losers who were preoccupied, watching Beverley edit the Godforsaken  tik tok that put Richie in this situation.</p><p>“God, I hope I’m too drunk to remember this tomorrow,” Richie whined, pulling a hand up to hide his eyes, “I hope you are too, I’m so embarrassed, fuck.”</p><p>“I don’t think I can forget this, and don’t be embarrassed,” Eddie giggled, leaning in to Richies ear and whispering lowly. “Maybe I can help.”</p><p>      What. The. Fuck.</p><p>“Um, you’re drunk.” Richie laughed nervously, moving his hand from his face to peek at Eddie, hyperaware of every slight movement now. </p><p>“We’ve been over this,” Eddie looked between Richie’s eyes and then down to his lips. “I wanna help.” Eddie whined, jutting his lip out with a pouty expression.</p><p>“Fuck, I do to-“ Richie paused, scrunching his eyes closed tightly, “but, I can’t. We can’t do this.” </p><p>“What? Why not?” Eddie wrapped his arms up around Richie’s neck, pouty as ever.</p><p>      He really needed to stop with the poutines. It was so fucking hot, Richie couldn’t think straight, and he really needed to. They can’t do this when things won’t be the same tomorrow. Eddies just drunk, and horny, and probably sad about his breakup. He knows Richie was once interested and thats the only reason he’s being like this. Even Richie’s drunk mind can make sense of that, and he knows if he goes through with something like this it’ll just hurt tomorrow because those feelings are still there. </p><p>“You’re drunk Eddie, you don’t mean this.” Richie pulled Eddies hands back from his neck, holding each of them at his sides, “You’re drunk and sad about your breakup.”</p><p>“Actually,” Eddie pulled his hands from Richie’s grip, crossing them stubbornly, “I’m not even that sad about Justin. Things weren’t right between us, for reasons... and I DO mean it. I wanna do this, with you Rich. Your song about me... it made me realize things... I want this, you,” He placed his hands back on Richie’s chest, tugging at his shirt to pull Richie forward. “I’ll prove it.”</p><p>      He was trying to kiss Richie. He pulled him in quickly and clumsily, their noses knocking together. Richie turned his head just in time for Eddie to plant a kiss on his cheek. </p><p>“I can’t let you do this drunk,” Richie protested, “If you mean it, tell me sober, okay?” Richie asked, barely meaning it because he knew Eddie would regret this tomorrow and probably pretend it never happened. </p><p>      He had heard somewhere that drunk words were sober thoughts, but whoever said that was clearly a dumbass. Eddie was in a state of pure delusion right now and Richie’s pretty sure he had worried his hard-on away. </p><p>“You’re so annoying!” Eddie whined, laying his head on his chest in defeat and mumbling nonsense, “clueless,” was one word Richie could make out from his unintelligible rant.</p><p>“I know, I’m the worst!” Richie laughed, wishing he could actually be the worst and just let it happen. He’d give anything to see how Eddie intended to help him...</p><p>Yeah, those thoughts weren’t gonna help him at all right now.</p><p>“Fine, I’ll tell you tomorrow when I’m sober! But you have to let me,” Eddie warned, peering up at Richie with a very serious expression that met his eyes.</p><p>Richie decided to humor him.</p><p>“I will! Soberly tell me you want me, and I am all yours, Eddie.” Richie meant it, too. He meant it with every fiber of his fucking being and hoped for it. </p><p>“Kiss on it?” Eddie quirked his brow mischievously and Richie giggled down at him, cupping his hand over Eddies mouth before he could lean in again. Richie was running short on willpower.  </p><p>      He could feel himself wanting to give up and just give in to how bad Eddie supposedly wanted him right now, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do such a thing when it could mess up so much between them. He’d have to settle for admiring him from afar, or in this case very close. So close, in fact, that he could count each and ever freckle on Eddies adorable nose. </p><p>“You are a horny menace when you’re drunk. We’ll shake on it like normal people.” Richie confirmed, releasing his hand from over Eddie’s mouth and holding it down to accept a tight squeeze of a handshake in response.</p><p>“Guys! Come look at the video!”</p><p>“Yeah, stop making out over there and come watch!” Stan challenged, locking eyes with Richie and raising his brows when Eddie responds.</p><p>“Not making out, Richie won’t let me!”</p><p>      He’s so gonna regret this in the morning, Richie thinks sadly.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The suspense, ahhh!! What will Eddie do? Let me know what you think!</p><p>Does he like him or is it just a drunk? Horny mistake? The world may never know... and by that I mean ima probably update tomorrow night so we’ll all know by then lol</p><p>Thank you for reading, comments and kudos are accepted and very much appreciated :-)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He couldn’t help it, it was in his DNA, literally. He had always been a bit of an anxious child, Maggie said he got that from his dad. Maggie said he got a lot of things from his dad, but the crippling anxiety definitely takes the case for the most annoying. He overcompensated with vulgar humor and presenting himself as careless so they rest of the world couldn’t see how much he would overthink everything, and completely stress out over microscopic problems. Once he let people in, though, it didn’t take long for them to figure out his techniques. In the words of Shrek, he’s like an onion. He has many layers to him.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I wrote this after pulling an all nighter and then edited it on 5 hours of sleep. It is midnight right now... you can see what this whole quarantine/social distancing thing is doing to my schedule, and my sanity with how I’m characterizing Richie.</p><p>ANYWHO, thanks for reading guys, I love u :’) please enjoy !</p><p>Also, just a PSA, this chapter talks about anxiety and loss of appetite due to anxiety! So if that is something that bothers you, please proceed with caution. It’s minor, but still there and I wanted to put this here for you if you need it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CHAPTER 5:<br/>  In his dreams, Richie gives in to Eddies lustful advances. They don’t even sneak off to the other room in a discreet way because they don’t care if they get the others attention. </p><p>      He picks Eddie up, making somewhat of a show of it. Eddie likes it, he can tell. He groans into Richies ear, telling him how badly he wants him, only him. The rest of the group cat calls at them as he carries Eddie upstairs. </p><p>“Not in our room,” Beverley shouts, snickering with the rest of the group.</p><p>	Richie can barely hear them though. He’s too caught up in Eddie and what’s happening. All he can focus on is the man in his arms, kissing and sucking on his neck. All that matters are the scattered love bites Eddie was leaving, trailing down to his chest.</p><p>	He practically threw Eddie down on the bed once they busted into the guest bedroom. He smiled down at him adoringly. </p><p>      He looked gorgeous, and Richie couldn’t help but admire him from top to bottom. He wanted to kiss him everywhere, so he did.</p><p>	He started with his toned, exposed legs, because of course he’d be wearing those, they’re wet dream material. He peppered soft kisses over them, then over his torso, pulling his shirt up so he could have skin to skin contact. He admired his neck next, really taking his time there to suck small bruises to match his own. He nipped at Eddies ear to get a little payback for earlier, and that’s when he noticed something. He pulled back to meet Eddies eyes, and it hit him. He was expressionless. Richie leaned back and Eddie blinked at him, leaning his body back as well.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Eddie asked, his lip curling like he’d smelled something rotten.</p><p>“I thought you wanted this, me?” Richie questioned, feeling tears prickle in his eyes as Eddie let out a vicious snicker.</p><p>“We’re just friends. I can’t believe you actually thought I wanted this,” He laughed, pausing to look into Richies eyes, twisting the knife, “I’d have to be really lonely to want that.”</p><p>“I’m-“</p><p>“Ruining everything? Yeah,” Eddie lost his sense of humor and went straight to rage, “Why couldn’t you just let it be? Why are you trying to ruin our friendship.”</p><p>“I’m not, I-“</p><p>“Yes you are. Get a fucking grip, Rich. This?” He motioned between the two of them, “Will never happen. Let’s just go back to normal.”</p><p>“Back to normal.” Richie agreed, sniffling and doing his best to gain his composure.</p><p>“Back to normal, back to normal, back to normal....”<br/>~<br/>	Richie woke up in cold chills, still whispering nonesense from his nightmare. His head was pounding and his body felt slick, piled under sheets, a blanket, and a duvet in the guest room at Bev and Ben’s place. Damn them for being such great hosts.</p><p>	He looked to his side where Stan was still sound asleep. Eddie was on the other side of Stan, snoring softly, indicating he was also passed out. Richie had to beg Stan to drive a wedge between them so he didn’t make any bad decisions, and didn’t give Eddie any opportunity to push him to make said bad decisions. Because in his drunken state, Richie would have bet big money that Eddie would have tried something.<br/>-<br/>“Ew, I am not getting in the middle of that,” Stan curled his lip in disgust, giving Richie a dumbfounded look, “And why would you want me to anyways? Isn’t this like your wet dream?”</p><p>“He’s drunk. I’m drunk.”</p><p>“Aren’t we all?” Stan raised his brows.</p><p>“He doesn’t actually want me like that Stan, he’s just drunk... I can’t let him do this without a clear head.”</p><p>“You’re so stupid,” Stan paused, giving Richie a pitiful glare, followed by an incredibly dramatic eye roll, “Ugh, and so fucking noble. Yes, I will get in the way of you getting dicked down by your crush of 87 years tonight. This feels so wrong.”</p><p>“You’re the best.” Richie chuckled, giving Stan a sincere smile that really reached his eyes.</p><p>“I know I am.” <br/>-<br/>	Richie got out of bed as slowly as he possibly could to avoid waking the others up. He cursed the floor for creaking as he tried tip toe to the bathroom. He paused in the doorway, examining his two friends and listening closely to make sure they were both still asleep.</p><p>	The soft snoring was still there, so he was still in the clear.</p><p>	Once Richie was in the bathroom he examined himself in the mirror. His cheeks were flushed red and wet, like he had been crying. He had been in his dreams, so he guessed he actually mimicked that in real life.  </p><p>“Pathetic,” He grumbled, running the faucet and splashing cool water on his face, “Get it together.” He demanded, pointing at his reflection seriously.</p><p>	He needed serious help. Physically ibuprofen and an entire bottle of pedialyte would be his savior. Mentally, now that was another story. He couldn’t help but be in his head about the previous night and what it meant, if anything. He wasn’t sure there could be any saving there, atleast not until he got some answers. Answers he was too afraid to receive. A very pressing matter, clearly. </p><p>	He shouldn’t be upset with Eddie, but he also couldn’t help but feel rejected from his dream. It may not have been real, but it still stung, and was premature to say it couldn’t actually happen. He had no clue how things would play out once Eddie was awake and functioning normally. His dream was definitely a projection of his real fears, and he knew it. It gave him one more reason to fall back into his normal, comfortable state of avoidance. Because honestly, after the night before and his horrific nightmare, he was way too nervous to talk to Eddie first thing in the morning. He needed time to think before any serious conversation. So, he decided he needed to go home right away.</p><p>	He needed to leave before anyone else woke up so he could go home and avoid Eddie for a little while because of something Eddie said to him in his dreams. Yeah, he definitely needed a lot of help, but for now this logic seemed to work for him, so he did just that.</p><p>	Richie searched the apartment for his house key, giving up once he found Stans because that would have do for now. His mission was time sensitive, and he definitely did not need someone walking down just before he could make his escape. </p><p>	He shot Stan a text saying that he had his key and would be at home and to just text him to unlock the door when he got there if he couldn’t find Richies. After sending it he snuck out the front door and walked home as quickly as his legs would carry him, the entire time thinking of what he can say to Eddie when he has to talk to him. Which, would probably be in the next couple of hours, worst case scenario.</p><p>	He considered that he could probably hide out in his room and ignore everyone and everything. That usually seemed to work for him, except for with Beverly. She’d probably help Eddie break in, too. He needed a better plan.</p><p>	He could just face the problem head on and text Eddie, asking him to explain the previous night and expressing the way it made him feel. That just felt too forward, though, and that left way too much room for rejection. If he seemed like he cared, then there was way too much room for him to get hurt.</p><p>      Once he clicked the lock and opened his front door he was hit with a genius idea.</p><p>	He could just not worry about it, and wait for Eddie to make his move like promised. It was a drunken promise, so it barely counted, but it was better than Richie bringing it up and embarrassing himself. Now, the only pressing matter was actually going through with that plan, and not being a worrier. </p><p>      He couldn’t help it, it was in his DNA, literally. He had always been a bit of an anxious child, Maggie said he got that from his dad. Maggie said he got a lot of things from his dad, but the crippling anxiety definitely takes the case for the most annoying. He overcompensated with vulgar humor and presenting himself as careless so they rest of the world couldn’t see how much he would overthink everything, and completely stress out over microscopic problems. Once he let people in, though, it didn’t take long for them to figure out his techniques. In the words of Shrek, he’s like an onion. He has many layers to him. </p><p>      So, yeah, he worried too much. Despite his plan of not thinking about it, he couldn’t help but let his mind wonder to what the rejection conversation with Eddie would inevitably be like.</p><p>Blah blah blah, I was drunk, blah blah blah, I’m sorry, I only think of you as a friend. Blah blah blah, I’m sad about my breakup, blah blah blah, I hope this doesn’t change anything between us.</p><p>	Except it did change so much between them, already. Richie couldn’t stop thinking about how desperate Eddie was to get his hands on him. Him! He was drunk, but it was still the most wanted he had ever felt by someone. It was still the hottest thing that had ever happened to him. He wouldn’t be able to look at Eddie the same again after that, and it’d definitely be hard to bury his feelings even deeper after it.</p><p>-</p><p>“RICHIE— RICHIE, IF YOU DON’T OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR.”</p><p>Bang, bang, bang.</p><p>“RICH, COME ON-“ BANG, BANG.</p><p>	Richie jolted awake, body aching as he rolled onto the ground. He’d fallen asleep on the couch, again. Stan wasn’t taking care of him this time, though. He was behind the door, viciously banging on it to be let in.</p><p>“THAT’S IT, I’M BREAKING IT DOWN.” Stan screamed from behind the door, and despite the situation Richie laughed.</p><p>“I’m coming, don’t get your panties in a twist,” Richie yawned, wrapping his blanket around him and walking up to unlock the door.</p><p>“Don’t take my keys ever again.” Stan growled, crossing Richie to get in and walking straight to the kitchen.</p><p>“It’s nice to see you too, sunshine.” Richie beamed, following after him.</p><p>“Cut the shit,” Stan paused, looking Richie up and down, “Why’d you cut out early this morning?”</p><p>“Didn’t feel good.”</p><p>	Stan glared at him a bit, giving him a slight eye roll and huff.</p><p>“That’s all?” He questioned.</p><p>“Yuppity yup.” Richie confirmed, pulling out a cup to pour himself some orange juice.</p><p>“You should call Eddie. He said he needed to to tell you something. Is that why you left early Richie, did you know that Eddie needed to talk to you?”</p><p>“No, Stanley, I didn’t know he needed to talk to me.” Richie paused, panicking. His phone buzzed like clockwork.</p><p>“Sure,” Stan watched him suspiciously, the phone still buzzing, “Aren’t you gonna get that?”</p><p>“Uh, yeah! Of course.” Richie picked up the phone, answering on what had to be the last fucking ring and Jesus fucking Christ why do phone calls ring that many times.</p><p>“Hey,” Richie let out a breathy greeting, he could feel his heart beating out of his chest.</p><p>“Hey asshole,” Eddie beamed over the phone, Richie could hear his smile, “Why’d you leave so early? I wanted to tell you that I had a great idea for your song project. The one you have to write about a fruit?”</p><p>“That’s what you wanted to talk to me about?” Richie asked, mind buzzing with a million questions because this had to be a fucking joke. Eddie had to be fucking with him right now.</p><p>“Yeah, what else would I want to talk about?” Eddie giggled, pausing only briefly, “Let’s hangout later! I’ll pick you up and we can get food and talk about your project and just life in general... Since, you know, it’s been forever since we’ve hung out, just us.”</p><p>	Either Eddie was pretending last night didn’t happen, or he truly was too drunk to remember it. Richie couldn’t decide which of the two scenarios were worse.</p><p>“Aren’t you hungover? I am,” Richie groaned.</p><p>“I’m not taking no for an answer,” Eddie stated firmly, “Drink some water. Take a nap. I’ll pick you up at 6.”</p><p>	Eddie hung up. He really didn’t leave any room for discussion, and Richie had no fucking clue how he was supposed to get any sleep.</p><p>	So, he didn’t get any sleep. He simply paced through his apartment for hours, retreating to pace in the small space of his bedroom after Stan threatened to stage an intervention if he circled their couch one more time. He spent all of that time doing the opposite of his brilliant plan and worrying. He worried that Eddie was pretending he didn’t remember. Then he worried that Eddie actually just didn’t remember and maybe he’d never get answers. He worried until he only had twenty minutes to spare until Eddie was supposed to come get him. He got ready quickly, throwing on a simple, comfortable outfit and hoping for the best as he left, with Stans key because what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.</p><p>	Richie was waiting outside when Eddie pulled up in front of his building. Eddie scolded him immediately as he hopped in the passenger seat.</p><p>“I was gonna come up to the door, Rich, you don’t have to wait outside like I’m some douche bag picking you up for a bootycall.” He chuckled, not noticing how Richies eyes bulged at the comment.</p><p>“I’m thinking pizza, and we can just pick it up and bring it back here.” Eddie paused, looking over to Richie. “Maybe we could watch a movie too? Stan won’t care, right?” </p><p>“Hello, Earth to Richie?” Eddie questioned, raising his hands in front of Richies face and waving them around.</p><p>“Oh, um, yeah— Sorry, yeah we can do pizza and a movie,” Richie did his best to give Eddie a genuine smile, “That sounds good, Ed’s.”</p><p>“You’re being weird,” Eddie peered at him suspiciously.</p><p>“I’m extremely hungover.” Richie lied, and Eddie shrugged, accepting it.</p><p>	They got their pizza, half cheese, half pepperoni because Eddie had been a vegetarian since they were kids. Afterwards they made their way back to Richies apartment, going straight for the couch once they were there. They argued over what movie to watch while they ate, finally agreeing that they would put on a classic, Twilight.</p><p>	Eddie ate quickly, his half of the pizza being gone before the movie even started. Richie, on the other hand, anxiously picked away at his half, barely even on his second piece by the time Eddie was finished. He decided he’d come back to food later.</p><p>	As the movie progressed, Eddie slowly made his way to the other side of the couch, cuddling up on Richies side. Richie accepted it cautiously, trying his best to not think much of the contact since that’s something they really would normally do.</p><p>	He couldn’t help being painfully aware of the touch, though. Eddie was nuzzling into him and he could smell his shampoo, and it smelled really good, kind of like lavender. He desperately wanted Eddie to say something about the previous night. He desperately wanted him to never bring it up if he didn’t feel the same. His emotions were mixed, but he was sure of one thing and that’s was how badly he wanted to run his fingers through Eddies hair in that moment.</p><p>“Scratch my head?” Eddie questioned, peeking up at Richie innocently for a second before looking back to the screen.</p><p>	What, was he a fucking mind reader now, Richie thought? Tell me you love me.</p><p>	Richies hand was shaky because of the damn nerves, but he did his best. Eddies hair was soft and curly, and yet there wasn’t a single tangle in it. His hand glided through Eds curls with ease, a huge contrast to his own head, which he was sure could definitely use a brushing. Eddie breathed a content sigh, leaning in to Richies touch.</p><p>	Richie was fucking melting. Fuck Twilight, he couldn’t give the movie a single thought at the moment. All he could focus on was Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, and how right this felt between them. Being together.</p><p>	But that was the problem, him letting himself get to this place and think things like that. He couldn’t imagine them like that because it was just going to make things harder. It was just going to hurt him in the long run.</p><p>	Eddies hand slid up to his hair, stopping Richies hand from scratching and pulling it into his lap. Richie rested it because he figured Eddie was just done with being touched, and wanted him to stop, but that was not the case. Once Richies hand was resting in his lap Eddie slid his hand into Richies, giving it a brief squeeze before interlocking their fingers.</p><p>	What was happening? What was he doing? They were holding hands while watching Twilight, Richies heart was about to explode, and he was pretty sure his lungs were about to collapse. He couldn’t breathe because Eddie was holding his hand and he didn’t know what it meant, but he thought that he might have a guess.</p><p>“Stop,” Richie shocked himself, pulling his hand back and scooting off the couch.</p><p>	Eddies head fell into the couch, no longer being held up by Richies legs. He looked to Richie in confusion, who was now sitting on the floor, crossing his arms around himself, expression and posture both guarded.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Richie asked, accusation in his tone.</p><p>“I was-“</p><p>“Because I can take a lot, Eddie. I can take you hearing my heart being poured out in song, I can take you making drunken passes at me because you’re sad about breaking up with your boyfriend, and I can take having to bury my feelings to save this friendship,” Richie paused, looking down at his feet and scrunching his brows together, “But what I can’t take is, this. This flirting, or whatever it is that you’ve been doing since you found out how I felt about you. I’m trying my best, but you’re making it really hard to not be head over fucking heels for you, and it really hurts that you’re doing this to me. It feels like I’m being used. I can’t be a rebound. I definitely can’t be a fun, fling. I can’t do it. I care too much. Always have, and I’m pretty sure that I always fucking will.”</p><p>“Rich, I-“</p><p>“Just stop, I don’t need to hear the rejection, okay? I get it-“</p><p>“Let me talk!” Eddie yelled, startling Richie to make him look up and meet Eddies eyes. “Remember how I said I’ll tell you, but you have to let me?”</p><p>	Richies gasped loudly, scrunching his brows and shaking his head a bit.</p><p>“You— you remember?”</p><p>“Of course I remember.” Eddie chuckled, raising his brows suggestively, “How could I forget?”</p><p>“What does this mea-“</p><p>“It means that I want you, I think.” Eddie paused, smiling gently to ease any of Richies worry. “I mean, I don’t think, I know. When I heard your song, I just felt different afterwards. I hadn’t thought of you like that in a really long time, and before you ask, yes that means I have thought of you like that at some point. I just didn’t think you’d feel the same way so I did what you did and, ‘got over it,’ though I was pretty sure that was a lie, and I was right.”</p><p>“Yeah—“</p><p>“So, I broke things off with Justin. I tried to be subtle with you, and flirt but clearly you were freaked out by that so I tried a hands on approach— Well, I tried to have a hands on approach, but you were freaked out by that too,” Eddie giggled a bit nervously and Richie just stared at him dumbfounded, “So here it is, Rich, my completely sober, completely forward and direct approach. I want to give this a try, me and you. Dating, that is. I want to go on a date with you. I, Eddie Kaspbrak, would like to take you, Richie Tozier, on a date. What do you think?”</p><p>“You mean it? Like you really mean it, and I’m not going to wake up tomorrow and you say this was all a joke?” Richie was looking down again, he couldn’t help it.</p><p>“Richie, what the fuck,” Eddie reached for him, placing his hand under Richies chin to tilt his head up and look into his eyes, “I would never do that to you. I care about you too much. I mean this, okay? I’m all in if you are.”</p><p>“Okay.” Richie agreed, blushing furiously under Eddies intense stare. “I’m in.”</p><p>“Okay, now can we please finish this movie? They’re about to rip off Jame’s head, and you know that’s my favorite part!”</p><p>Richie chuckled, jumping back onto the couch and feeling a lot more confident when Eddie snuggled up to him this time. He wrapped his arm around him and played with his hair before he could even ask, and they stayed like that for the rest of the movie.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The big reveal!!!! Eddie wants to give them a shot, but how will it go? Will it be sparks like they’re both expecting, or will Richie get in the way of his happiness with his anxiety and over worrying.... next week on projecting your problems on Richie Tozier.. FJDJE IM KIDDING.. only a little tho :’) I hope you guys liked this chapter! Thinks are looking good for our boys right now !</p><p> </p><p>PS— Pls I’m so evil, are these boys ever gonna kiss? the world may never know</p>
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